Im so sad my mom like always tells me she is coming to get me then cant come.ihavent been home in 2 weeks which isnt a long time nothing really matters.Because as hard as i try to "fix" things i cant.so tired of trying i hate feeling bad because it just ruins my whole daynight.Like i know i wont be able to sleep tonight.I just want to see my boyfriend i miss him so much.Their is no point in telling him all this because it isnt his problem its mine.
I dont want to be the crazy girlfriend i feel like i am because i get so sad sometimes over things that i dont want to bother with anything.I hope he understands that its not that i dont want to be around him.Its that i feel really sadupset and i dont want to ruin his day.If i hav an urge to harm then i dont want him 2 be around me or become suspicious.Because im not very good at hiding things anymore maybe i never was.I understand that life is hard for everyone.But i feel like its too much for me and maybe i dont want to be here anymore.I hate having these thoughts because they make me feel so bad.I would never want to hurt the people around me by acting on these thoughts. But i just want to feel better.I dont know how to make them stop god knows i wish i did.
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